


The Unicorn and Her Horn

by Cosmichumor



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Horrors of War, Male My Unit | Byleth, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-14
Packaged: 2020-10-18 04:47:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20633312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cosmichumor/pseuds/Cosmichumor
Summary: What do you do when you're responsible for the death of the father of the man you love? Most people will never have to answer that question. Of course, Edelgard Von Hresvelg is not most people.





	The Unicorn and Her Horn

She was sitting in her chambers, her eyes studying the map of the next battle, when a knock came to Edelgard’s door. Even after five years of his absence, it was a very familiar knock.

“Come in, Professor.” The sound of the door opening was heard and Edelgard turned to Byleth, coming into her chambers. A moment of shock fell over her face when she saw how hard his face was. It was a cold-eyed sternness that she had only seen him have on the battlefield. “Is something the matter?”

“We need to talk.” Byleth said.

“Strategies for the next battle?” Edelgard asked. The situation considering the war was dire, but that couldn’t be it. They had prepared for plenty of dangerous situations before without Byleth being so emotional. Well, emotional for Byleth. Edelgard had thought she was good at hiding her feelings, but compared to Byleth she was a wailing toddler. His coolheadedness was one of the many things she valued about him, but seeing that cool begin to heat up was cause for consternation at least.

“No… It’s personal.” he said.

That surprised her, but did not get the knot out of her stomach at seeing his face. “Well, I apologize professor, but I have a lot of work to get done before the battle. Can it wait?”

“It can’t.” There was a firmness to his voice that Edelgard wasn’t sure that she had ever heard before. “It’s about Jeralt.”

Edelgard paused as the knot in her stomach tightened. She managed to keep her composure through it all. “I should have figured. Yes, I understand. I owe you that much.” Hubert could handle the fine details tonight, she supposed. She went over to her cabinet and pulled out a bottle of wine. “Would you like some? I have a feeling this is going to be a long discussion.”

“I’d rather not. I think I’ll need a clear head for this.” Byleth said. 

“Understandable. Me, I think I am due for something to relax me.” She took a sip of the wine. She worried sometimes that the stress of the war was leading her to become overly dependent on it, as she’d been warned many warriors before her had become. Of course, as concerns went, it was going lower and lower on the list these days. “Tell me everything you want to know.”

“Good, I don’t want to waste any time.” Byleth looked straight in Edelgard’s eyes. Almost always, there was a warmth to them that would make her gently melt. “Did you order Kronya to kill my father?”

There it was. A simple question with a simple answer. Except that it wasn’t simple at all, was it? Even so, she would give the simple version of the answer first. “No, I didn’t. In fact, I was hoping that I could recruit Jeralt to our cause, as I’d heard him voicing reservations about the church. Kronya acted on her own. I imagine it was her finding an outlet for her frustrations at the loss, but I swear to you that I did not order your father killed.”

There was a pause. “But you worked with her. With Those Who Slither in The Darkness.”

And here it came. The complicated part. The part where Edelgard had to admit that, yes, it was her fault that the man she loved was now an orphan. “Yes. If not for me, she would not have been there that day. She wouldn’t have had the chance. And for that, I take full responsibility.”

Byleth’s hand gripped around his sword. This was the angriest she had ever seen him, and his brow was still only slightly furrowed. Still, she could sense the anger coming from him in waves, even as he barely twitched. Where did that control come from? Edelgard silently gave thanks that she did not have to face him in battle. It was far from the first time she had done this. Of course, if that remained true after tonight remained to be seen. 

“How long have you practiced this response, Your Majesty?” Byleth asked.

Edelgard took another sip of wine, looking far more composed than she was feeling at the moment. “Longer than you can imagine, professor. Were it only so easy that Jeralt’s death was the worst that could be laid on my feet. But you know as well as I do, there is no such thing as a clean war. This isn’t any of those strategy games we played at school. Millions of things go wrong. I need every advantage I can get against the church, even those that will no doubt later be enemies as well.”

“And so you allied with Those Who Slither In Darkness.” Byleth said. “I worked as a mercenary. I understand that. Trust me, I grew up in a mercenary group and I know that battle makes for the most unpleasant of bedfellows.” 

“Too true. Trust me when I say there are people in this battle I wish were our friends far more than them.” Her mind briefly wandered over to Claude and Dimitri. Particularly Dimitri. The hatred she had seen in those eyes the last time they had met on battle had hit her more grievously than any sword or arrow could hope to. Now, she risked having the same hatred be in the eyes of Byleth. Her teacher, the one person in the world she trusted above all, the one man who she had hoped…

Edelgard pushed those thoughts aside. She couldn’t afford to be swayed by personal sentiment. What she was doing was bigger than Byleth, bigger than Edelgard herself. She was going to change Fodlan. She couldn’t let one man make her waver.

No matter how much it would hurt. 

“Let me ask you something, though.” Byleth said. “Knowing what you know now, knowing what they’ve done, knowing they will be our enemies as well soon, maybe as vicious as the church if not worse, would you have done the same?”

“That’s a useless question.” Edelgard replied. “None of us can turn back time and it’s useless to ruminate on what we’d do if we got a second chance.”

To Edelgard’s shock, Byleth got a smirk on his face. “You know, I actually think about it all the time, so indulge me.”

Edelgard lay her forehead in her hand for a moment before taking another considerable sip of wine. That was Byleth for you, always having some sardonic joke that only made sense to him. “As I said, I haven’t thought about it. If asked on the spot, though… yes. Yes, I would. I regret what happened to your father, I regret what I’ve learned about them from allying with them, but the fact remains that there was no other option. Had I not done it, we would not have the foothold we do now. We would not have had the opportunities that made this war possible.”

“Do you understand how thin a line you are walking?” Byleth asked. “How many tyrants have justified their sins this way? How many despots have started by doing just one wrong thing? Until it becomes more than one, and then you’re sitting on a mountain of bones and ash. Everyone fighting in this war thinks they’re fighting for the right thing, Edelgard. If we don’t give as much concern to how we fight, we will lose track of why we fight.”

“Trust me, my teacher, I know.” Edelgard said. “Not a day goes by that I don’t mourn the deaths I have caused. Not a night goes by that I don't think about how if I fail, the church will paint me as one of history’s greatest monsters or the fact that there is a real danger I might deserve that title if I am not careful. And even if I succeed, reconstruction will be an even more daunting task. As polarized as the three nations are, winning the war will be nothing if I don’t also maintain peace afterwards and actually implement the change I have sworn to. And trust me, I of all people know what a threat Those Who Slither in Darkness are, and know that I am doing everything to make sure that they don’t come out of this war stronger. I understand if you do not believe I am a good person. Often, I doubt it myself. But know that I am doing everything I can, and I can do a lot. Question my methods, I welcome that. Question my tactics, I need that. Do not, however, question my dedication. I know what needs to be done, and I know what lines can and cannot be crossed.”

There was a pause as their eyes met and stayed in place. Edelgard did not know how long she could hold it before Byleth finally broke the challenge and spoke. His words were painfully gentle. “My dad is dead, Edelgard.”

It took all her effort not to break into tears at those words. Of course, it came down to that. They could debate numbers, ethics, unforeseen consequences, and any matter of abstract thought which crumbled behind the simple reality of the personal pain he was feeling. Jeralt was nowhere near the only person who suffered from Edelgard’s tactical blunders, nor the worst, but it was the one that Byleth felt. Nothing was a statistic when it happened to you. 

“And I am sorry. I never wanted this for you, for any of us.” she said. “If you hate me, that is your right. If you want to leave, I will not stop you. However, can I ask you ask a question?”

Byleth’s voice regained its usual timber. “You’ve been nothing but honest with me. I owe you that much.” Edelgard could hear the silent addition if little else. 

A part of her wanted not to ask, but to beg. Please stay. I love you. I love you in a way I didn’t know was possible. I will make every wish of yours come true if you just stay with me. But she couldn’t do that. It would have been cruel to do that to him now, and if Byleth were to stay with her, it had to be because he believed in what she was doing. Believed in her.

“After what you’ve seen in this world, after what you know the church does, what the church is, after what you know has happened to so many of us because of crests, to Caspar, to Lysithea, and yes, even to me, do you not think we are right to fight? Do you not believe this broken world needs to be taken down and rebuilt?”

Byleth paused at that. The urge for Edelgard to scream her desire for him came up again. No one in her life had ever caused that desire in her, that feeling of… weakness? Something she had trained so long to purge herself of. Yet, around Byleth it felt like she could allow herself some weakness. She could show herself to him. If he left, she would have no one to share that part of herself with anymore. 

Finally, he spoke. “I believe in what you’re doing, Edelgard.” he said. “I was never a believer in the church, and yes, learning of their cruelty has indeed stiffened my resolve. I will fight with you. I will never leave your side. That doesn’t change what happened. That you hurt me.”

“It couldn’t. I know, and believe that I am sorry from the depths of my heart that I had anything to do with this.” Finally, she allowed herself to show display of the weakness she could only show to Byleth. “I need to know… do you hate me for this?”

“No.” the answer came so fast that it was almost a soothing wind from his breath. “Not you, Edelgard. I could never hate you. I do need time… By Seiros I need so much more than time, and neither of us have any of it. More than anything though, I need my best friend back.”

“Best friend?” Edelgard said, unable to keep the shock from her voice. She had never thought about herself in that context. Never really thought about the idea of having friends. But if anyone were to be her best friend…. It wasn’t his declaration of love, but it would do. “You’re my best friend too. It’s been a long five years without you.”

“Maybe for you, but I just had a really long nap.” he said.

“More jokes.” she replied. “You tease me and you laugh. Maybe that’s why you help me so much, professor. You keep me in touch with my humanity.”

“I’m glad. You’ll need that if you’re to win this.” he said. “I can’t say I forgive you. Not yet, but I couldn’t imagine being anywhere but by your side, both in the castle and in battle. We will meet again, and perhaps the next time, I’ll join you with that wine.”

“Nothing would please me more.” Edelgard said. 

“We should both sleep.” Byleth said. “Don’t drink too much, Your Majesty.”

“Only this glass, I promise.” Edelgard said. “And Byleth, we will stop Those Who Slither in Darkness. The world has just as little room for them as it does for the church. They will face justice. On this you have my word.”

“I believe you.” Byleth said. “That is why you have my sword, Your Majesty.”

Byleth left and Edelgard slumped into her chair. It was good that the conversation happened, she told herself. Byleth needed to be free of doubts or suspicion. Byleth needed to know where things stood. A soldier who without conviction was no soldier at all. Still, she let herself feel the part that regretted it all; the part that hurt for hurting him, that felt his hurt just as acutely. So, this was love, was it? Was it always as dramatic as this? Did it always feel like one of Dorothea’s damn operas?

Probably not for most people, but Edelgard never got the luxury of a simple life, something she thought of far too often. Of just making flirty banter like Dorothea or outright using her looks to make men court her and dance to her tune like Hilda. Like most people, she had spent nights in her bed, fantasizing of being in the arms of the man she loved. Unlike them, her fantasies would taste like ash and blood in her mouth, shame and fear overtaking them. 

Edelgard looked at her glass, and she decided to give herself one true indulgence that night.

She would cry.

She would spill so many tears tonight. Tears would be shed for a young chestnut-haired girl who wasn’t what a group of greedy nobles wanted. She would cry for the hardened woman that girl grew up to be, and the carefree woman who never could be. She would cry for the death of a man she barely knew, if only because the man she loved was raised by him. She cried for all the classmates, the friends she had lost, by doing this. She cried for all the civilians dragged into her dream. The people who didn’t ask for the world to change, but had to live through the time when it would. She cried for the soldiers and mercenaries on both sides who had simply hoped to live through peaceful times rather than through a world-shaking war. She cried for the people who suffered because of the lines she had to cross. She cried at the fear that she might have to cross even more. She cried because she might be a monster and she cried because no matter how this war happened, there would be those that saw her as such. More than anything, she cried because she feared than an insurmountable divide had been created between her and the man she loved.

She knew that she would not have enough tears.


End file.
